Alexandra laid on a ratty bed, holes littering the thin blanket she used to cover her body. The slow rise and fall of her chest showed that she was sound asleep, her face grimaced as her nightmares played through her mind; as if it were not bad enough that she was living a nightmare, she had to dream them as well.
I moved towards her, but the further I walked the further away she became. Until I was sprinting towards her and at the same speed she was shooting backward.
Alexandra!” I shouted her name as loudly as I possibly could.
I saw her lift her sleepy head and look right at me, her eyes dark as night and she whispered to me, “Save me.”
“I will! Alexandra!”
Alexandra… “Alexandra!” I shot up from my sleep in a cold sweat, my nightmare replaying in my mind.
It has been three weeks since she went missing, three long weeks since I was able to see the face of the woman whom I loved. Alexandra was gone, stuck in the hands of Jamie Marie and it was all my fault. I had let her stay home alone, I had left her and now she was no longer where I could reach her.
Frustrated and angry, I grabbed my pillow and threw it across the room, knocking over a lamp in the process. Then I got out of bed and walked to the window, pulling open the curtains and wincing from the bright sun. Banging my fists against the window, it took all I had not to scream out of anger, pain and guilt.
“Are you okay?” Aaron asked as he opened my door and stepped in.
“No.” I admitted, “I am not okay and I won’t be until she is safe.”
“I get it.”
For some reason him saying that pissed me off, I spun to face my older brother, “How do you get it? Is it your fault that the love of your life was taken by a fucking maniac and is being held somewhere where you can’t find? Is that how you get it? Please explain this to me because I just cannot seem to understand!”
Aaron crossed the room and pulled me in for a hug, “I love her too, Finn, not the same way you do, but still. Alexandra is like a little sister to me, she is family and so I do get it, to a point.” He squeezed me, and I couldn’t help but feel sorry about my outburst. “Also, you need to get this through your head: it is not your fault that Jamie took Alexandra. How were you supposed to know that that was the night he was going to take her Push this out of your head and just concentrate on finding her.”
He was right, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t feel guilty until the day I died.